Testimony

Our pastor had asked Matt and I to give our testimony at church at the Harvest Banquet. He asked us a month or so ago, and the banquet was last night. I am NOT a great public speaker (which may surprise you for as much as I like to talk :) ), so I wrote my testimony out and read it. I didn't want to leave anything out, and I knew I would be so nervous that reading was the only way I was going to get through such an intimate, emotional story.

Here it is...I want to share this for anyone who doesn't know my story, and for our kids, so they can always know how our God led me to His loving arms. Be warned, this isn't written with proper grammar and punctuation, it's written how I think, and how I talk...but you get the picture.

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I was raised in a Catholic home, we went to church every Sunday, we prayed before meals, we prayed every night. A faith in God was instilled in me at an early age. I was taught about sin, about the 10 commandments, and my parents' faith was strong. I remember having talks with my Dad when I was in college, he spoke of how our Lord was the only way he was able to make it through the toughest parts of his life. I am thankful they instilled this faith in me.

I went off to college, and I never lost my faith in my God. But I was missing something...I remember a voice within me...I would hear “I need ____”, but couldn't fill in the blank. I was unsettled, I didn't know exactly what it was I was looking for.

I graduated from college and I still heard the voice. I moved to Rochester to start my career at IBM without knowing a soul here in town. I felt alone, and I still heard the voice.... “I need____”. I thought I needed my spouse...my other half....THAT had to be what I was missing. So I prayed every night for God to send me someone...but not just anyone, I prayed for a loving, kind, man to love. Three weeks later, a friend I worked with introduced me to a handsome, friendly man...Matt Cushing. A short time later, in July 2001, we were married. I was blessed to have found a loving, God-fearing, devoted husband. Our search for a church in Rochester didn’t go too far. I wasn't yet willing to give up the Catholic faith, so we settled at a Catholic church here in town. It worked for us at the time...or so we thought.

To my surprise, I still heard the voice....I was still unsettled. I was happy, and our marriage was amazing, but I was still missing something. So can you guess what I thought I needed next? A baby, right?? We were blessed with our first, Mason, in August of 2003, and Charlotte was born in May of 2005.

In the mean time, much was going on spiritually in our family. I saw my husband reading his Bible, something we never did when I was growing up. We had many talks about faith, and I knew Matt had been saved, but I wasn't sure exactly what it meant. I had trouble understanding how you had to only believe that Christ had died for your sins...I believed that, so wasn't I saved already??

Matt's example and his life showed me that he was different, there was something he had that I didn't...I began to wonder if THIS was what I was missing.

Shortly before Isaac was born in 2007, I realized that being 'saved' wasn't about just believing, it was also about inviting Christ in, to walk with Him on a daily basis, to let him change your heart and your life. I don't remember the date, but I remember sitting on our couch, alone, and praying...it was there that I made my profession of faith. I had finally decided to let Jesus into my heart and into my life. We were still at the Catholic church, and our kids were old enough to start attending Sunday school at our church. We quickly realized they weren't taught Scripture, and we were very unimpressed with the lessons they were learning. We knew we had to make a change. We tried several different churches, but here, at Calvary we found hard-hitting preaching, a fabulous program for our children, and people that cared. We are so thankful to have found our new family here at Calvary.

God was patient with me, leading me slowly and gently to Him. I suppose He knows better than my husband that you can't strong arm me into anything. :) I didn't realize until just a couple of months ago that I haven't heard the voice, or had that unsettling feeling in the last 4+ years that I have been saved. I've experienced hard times and challenges, yes, but now I know where my Rock is...and my faith has never been stronger. I will be eternally grateful for God's voice calling me so gently and patiently to serve Him.