done...

Matt,
I am done. Done being alone...I realize my limit is about a week without you, and while unbearable, I can manage for a week. We need you, we miss you, there are no words for how much you are loved and missed.

This morning I took the kids grocery shopping and while it went mostly fine, I feel like a schmuck when I have to put Isaac on time out for hitting Charlotte with Maggie's toy hammer. We were in Walmart and I put him on the bench right next to the optical center...he screamed for a minute, until he realized people were glaring...then he got quiet, thankfully. I wonder if people think I'm a good mom for being consistent, or a bad mom for having a screaming brat in the store. I guess I could really care less what they think...I can't leave him run around thinking hitting is ever ok. Needless to say, I saved the Thanksgiving grocery shopping for after you get home and stuck to the necessities today...

I try to imitate you, your patience and your love for our children. When I feel I'm at the end of my rope with them, I try to picture what you would do...how you would handle it...and somehow that helps me feel a little less incompetent and gain the strength and patience of two parents when I am only one.

I miss your arms around me...your reassuring presence...your loving soul. Come home safely...three more days. God speed...I love you.